No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize