My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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