After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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