You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
