the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize