i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
