I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
