Your tits are I can't wait for
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
