dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
