paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her vagine was all disorganized.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
