You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
