Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
