Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
