My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The best revenge is premature balding
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
