I heard we made out
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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