found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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