she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
