i dedicated my morning wood to you.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
