We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
