oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
