i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
