booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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