you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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