you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize