I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
