the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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