Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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