Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
