just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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