I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
