i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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