Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
