my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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