I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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