she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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