Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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