and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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