Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
