I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
