Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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