I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
