Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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