I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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