Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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