It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
