Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize