Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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