I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
that may or may not have been my penis.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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