do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
