Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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