Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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