no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
