how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
