I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
