OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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