Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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