someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
