yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
