it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
