is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
