I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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