he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize