Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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