im six kinds of drunk right now
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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