You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Randomize
