you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
