I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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