It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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