Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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