come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
