I must be too annoying 4 u.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
