The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
