At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Boobs speak an international language.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
