drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
